Pretty much every mother will answer the question of whether she is happier as a mother than before the children came along with an enthusiastic yes. All over the world, children are one of the most enjoyable aspects of life. But why are so many mums frustrated and stressed?
Psychologists who deal with life satisfaction repeatedly find that although having a child is generally enriching for a mother, it also puts a strain on everyday life. Mothers feel frustrated, exhausted and even angry many times a day. The emotional strain is often taken out on their partner. A mother's stress can lead to strong negative feelings.
What is shocking for many is the fact that the time spent together with the child is not necessarily one of the highlights of the day. This has nothing to do with the mother not loving her child; on the contrary, it is precisely her love for the child or children that makes the emotional strain so high. But as much as the mother loves her children, she learns to appreciate her breaks when no one is demanding or pressurising her.
The secret to being a happier mum lies in selective memory. Frustrating moments when the children are arguing about trivialities and once again don't want to drink their milk can be blocked out. Instead, mums should concentrate on all the beautiful and happy moments with their children. A trip to the park when the children's eyes light up, the sincere hug that says "you're the best mum in the world" and the childlike joy at Christmas and birthdays are the moments a mother should focus on.
Motherhood changes every woman. She finds a part of her heart that she never knew existed. Even if the constant demands of children are extremely exhausting, it is basically nice for a mother to be needed.
To be happier as a mother, you have to start appreciating what you do, because caring for a mother is one of the most important things in a child's life. The next step is to organise daily tasks in a way that makes them more fun. In this way, the mother makes her own life better and becomes an even better mother for her children.
If the child really wants to drink its milk from the red cup, but it can't be found, the bad-tempered mum says "take the blue cup and that's that!". This inevitably results in an outburst of tears on the part of the child and an even worse mood on the part of the mother. If the mother is able to think more positively, she can find ways to make the blue cup red, for example by wrapping it in red paper. Or she can make up a story that the red cup is on a journey and the blue cup wants to be favourite cup today. Every child has their own buttons that can be pressed to turn a potentially negative experience into joy.
The good news for all frustrated mums is that you can learn to focus on the positive and develop a positive attitude in everyday life. And please don't take every whinge personally. The whims of the children are not directed against the mother, but are simply part of finding one's own personality and role in life.
