Overcoming shyness: Only a shy person understands the pain, self-loathing and regret you have to live with every day. Sometimes the pain seems to weigh you down and you think your life will always go on like this. On other days, you have a glimmer of hope when you accidentally have a sense of achievement.
What can really alleviate the self-hatred that shy people feel?
The answer is: Take your destiny into your own hands and become active. Conquer your shyness. Here are 12 ways that will help you overcome your shyness.
Why am I shy?
Why are some people shy in social situations while others thrive? Although it's not always clear why, there are some possible explanations, such as a negative self-image, bullying, personality traits and lack of experience with social interaction.
Most people are shy in certain situations, and there's nothing wrong with that. But if your shyness has started to get on your nerves or you feel like it's holding you back in some way, there are things you can do to overcome it.
From shy to self-confident
Baby steps are the way to go. If you directly challenge yourself to make 15 best friends in a week, you might be setting the bar a little high. Your first goal could be to have a five-minute conversation with someone you don't know very well.
Why are you shy? Finding out why you're shy in the first place could help you overcome it. For example, if you have a negative image of yourself, you should look at some tips to improve your self-esteem.
Shift your focus. If you're worried about what others might think about you, try focussing on the other person. Ask them questions about themselves and try to find out more about them. Think of questions you can ask people and work out how you will react when they answer. You can overcome your shyness, but don't make it the centre of your life.
How to overcome shyness
1. if you have something to say, it should be valuable in terms of content. If you say something just to have your say, but without substance, you'll feel stupid afterwards.
2. keep a diary. Write down your thoughts and feelings. Record your progress and also your defeats so that you become one with your feelings.
3. make appointments as often as possible. Once you have made an appointment, keep it and don't chicken out just beforehand.
4. become active. Don't wait for the shyness to go away by itself. Passivity may seem to be the easiest way for the shy person, but it won't get you anywhere.
5. practise, practise and practise. Set yourself small tasks to master. But don't set your goal too high straight away so that you don't fail. Depending on your level of shyness, start slowly with tasks such as...
- ask a stranger for directions.
- Going to a restaurant alone.
- Place an order by telephone.
etc.
6. ask someone close to you to support you in your endeavour (overcoming shyness).
7. in a relationship or a potential relationship, be the one who takes the next step.
8. always ask for what you really want, not what seems most convenient at the moment.
9 Until now, your automatic response to your social environment has probably always been "no". Change that and always say "yes".
10. ask the people around you for their telephone number so that you can stay in contact with them.
11. make it clear to everyone what you want. Don't let others impose their opinions on you.
12. if you want to back out again, consciously go in the other direction.
The most important thing is not to give up. You can overcome shyness. There will be good days and bad days, but always believe in yourself. You can do it!
