For many, it is surprising to learn that only 10% of flirting is done through words. The remaining 90% are expressed through body language, facial expressions and gestures. The body sends out signals that you are usually unaware of. We often instinctively interpret the other person's signals and form a positive or negative opinion of them without realising why. The signals sent out by body language have up to five times the effect of what is said.

 

The most common sign of body language when flirting is smiling. Smiling is a universally understood sign of cheerfulness and sympathy. Smiling not only with your mouth but also with your eyes is a genuine smile and an invitation to get to know someone.

 

To know if someone is interested in you, make eye contact. Try to make eye contact, but only for a few moments. A direct stare that lasts longer than a few seconds comes across as aggressive or hostile. Hold eye contact for a few seconds and then look down. Don't forget to smile.

 

If you notice someone across the room looking at you, look for other signs of interest. The person may look over at you, avert their eyes, but keep looking back at you, probably with a slight smile on their face. If you return eye contact and the other person blushes and looks down, this is a clear sign of interest in flirting.

 

If you are talking to someone for the first time, there are a few signs you can look out for to see if the person is interested in you or not. Hidden body signals can tell you whether the person likes you. One sign is dilated pupils. When we look at something or someone we are interested in, our pupils automatically dilate. Skilful salespeople use this sign to know whether the potential buyer is interested or not.

 

Posture is also something you can pay attention to. If the other person is interested in you, they will usually face you head-on. If this is not possible due to lack of space, they will turn their body towards you as far as possible. Open and upright palms are a good sign that the person is open to you. Women who want to flirt play with their hair, wrap a strand around their finger or throw it back over their shoulder. Men play with their shirt buttons, collar or wipe away an imaginary piece of fluff. These signals show that the person wants to show you their best side.

 

If you talk to each other while sitting down, there are other signs. It is positive if the legs and knees are pointing directly in your direction. Crossed legs can mean that the person is not interested. Loosely crossed legs with the tip of the foot pointing in your direction is an unconscious indication that the person wants to flirt with you. Crossed arms or hands buried in your pockets show that you are withdrawn or insecure. Insecurity does not necessarily have to be negative.

 

Women often wet their lips when talking if they are interested. Physical contact is always a good sign when flirting. It is often brief and shy touches to test the reaction.

 

It is a particularly positive sign if the other person copies your gestures. This is the most sincere form of flattery. You may also notice that the other person tilts their head to the side to listen to you. This signals sincere interest.

 

Reading body language when flirting can take some practice. Also bear in mind that you are also sending unconscious signals with your body. Body language is very complex with many nuances and is not an exact science. The best way to read body language is to look at the overall picture of gestures and facial expressions. Above all, don't become so fixated on body language that you can no longer hear what the other person is saying. Don't forget to smile yourself.