If a child has a sibling, situations in which envy arises in the first child are pre-programmed. Envy is a member of our natural spectrum of emotions that is not pleasant, but also has its usefulness.
Envy does not only occur between siblings, but is particularly common among them. This is due to the fact that parents can never treat their children 100% equally, and in some situations this is not appropriate.
More about dealing with envy in children.
If one of the children is ill, it makes sense to give them more attention or to spoil them a little. In such a case, the envious child must be made to understand that they will receive preferential treatment even if they are ill. He will prefer this to having to do without this privilege himself later on.
Envy arises first and foremost when children feel disadvantaged and see that their siblings are getting something that they themselves would like to have at that moment. Among siblings, however, the most common reasons are also favouritism for attention, skills and competition for praise and recognition, as well as things that are awarded to one child but not the other due to the age difference.
Certain things, such as clothes, toys, etc. are already considered status symbols among children, which enhance their image. It is therefore also normal for a child to be envious of other children who have more, or whose things are generally of the most expensive variety.
Parents should not demonise this behaviour, but neither should they support it too much. Try to fulfil your children's wishes without forcing them to buy certain things just because a classmate has them. Instead, help your child to develop their own taste by encouraging them to orientate themselves towards themselves and not towards others.
If the child becomes too accustomed to having their envy rewarded by getting what they want, this will by no means cure their dissatisfaction with themselves, but rather create more problems. This behaviour can lead to defining one's own worth only by external appearances and not by one's own strengths.
In the same way, you should deal with siblings who react enviously because of their different character or the abilities of the other. It is important to make them realise that they also have special strengths and that you as parents are very proud of them. The focus should be on positively reinforcing these abilities and minimising comparison with others.
Communication comes first, because when things are said openly, mistakes can be quickly cleared up and exaggerated feelings can be calmed. Talking about things helps to neutralise them and, in the long term, has the advantage that everyone learns to understand and respect each other.
Everyone has to learn to cope with frustration and disappointment, but also that it is normal to develop such feelings in the first place.
Envy usually only becomes a problem when the parents are also unable to do justice before favouritism, or have a clear favourite child to whom they constantly give more attention and positive reactions. The other child, or children, then run the risk of hindering their personal development, because if envy is justified over a long period of time, the child's soul and self-esteem are also damaged.
