Raising children is a 24-hour job. You learn early on that there is no right and wrong when it comes to parenting, because every child is different and reacts differently. There are a few things you should bear in mind to help your children grow up to be healthy and responsible.
Give them tasks. It is important that children learn at an early age to master small tasks that are within their abilities. The tasks must be appropriate to the child's age, because if they can't do them, they will lose all motivation. Young children are very proud when they are allowed to take on the tasks of adults. They should learn early on that daily chores have to be done by someone, otherwise they will be left undone.
Two to four-year-old children should be able to put their toys away themselves, take their crockery back to the kitchen on their own and put their used clothes in the washing basket.
Five to seven-year-olds can already empty the dishwasher and set the table, empty waste bins and weed the garden.
Eight to ten-year-old children can help with hoovering, carrying shopping into the house and dusting.
From the age of eleven, a child can manage almost any task, even if it takes a little longer to complete at the beginning.
Limit the children's choices. If you ask a four-year-old child "What do you want to wear today?", all is lost. Little girls choose the most impossible combinations, while little boys can't decide at all, and the daily dressing ritual turns into chaos. Instead, give the child two options and let them choose from them, so they feel they have made their own choice. The same goes for food or activities. Give them two options, that's all they can see.
Dealing with money and finances. Give a teenager a fixed amount of pocket money and decide what they have to buy with it, e.g. there is more pocket money if clothing is included, but otherwise the parents do not contribute to the cost of clothing. The amount must be realistic so that the child learns how to manage it. If they can't manage with the amount, they can earn certain extras, but nothing comes for free. Open a savings account and encourage them to put money aside for larger purchases, but don't force them. To become responsible, the child must also make financial decisions themselves from the start and learn from their mistakes. If the teenager looks for an external part-time job to increase their pocket money, you should not give them less money than before, otherwise they will feel less motivated to look for work. Also, the child is not going to work so that you can save money, but so that they can afford more for themselves. Only when the teenager is old enough to work full-time will the roles be reversed and they will contribute some of their money to the household.
Sex education. Even if it's embarrassing, talk openly with teenagers about sex. Fortunately, they learn a lot from teenage magazines, so it's not necessary for you to preach at them, but answer their questions openly and honestly and inform them about everything important. Don't forbid them to have sexual experiences. They do what they want, behind your back if necessary. Tell them honestly about possible consequences such as AIDS and pregnancy.
Expectations. Teenagers generally do the opposite of what they are supposed to do. If you expect them to follow in your footsteps and smoke and drink, they won't do exactly that. Conversely, they will also go on drinking binges if you forbid them to do so. Let them do it as long as they are aware of the consequences. Everything in parenting is about children making their own decisions, even if we don't like them. This is the only way they will learn to take responsibility.
