Parents should set a good example. That's why you might think that it's better not to tell your children about your own experience when it comes to drug abuse or excessive alcohol consumption. But is that true?
There are studies that show that the children of parents who concealed their own drug past develop a stronger aversion to addictive substances than children whose parents were open about it. Many children interpret their parents' experience by adopting the mentality that their parents eventually became something too, even though they drank and took drugs. Attitudes towards drugs and alcohol are normalised and trivialised.
However, there is a counter-study that proves that the children of parents who shared their drug experience with them were much less likely to take drugs themselves. Around two thirds of modern parents choose to be open with their children. So with two conflicting studies, what should parents do?
Parents need to understand that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. All children are different and react differently to their influences. Protecting children from addiction does not depend on a single conversation. The likelihood of addiction depends on a number of factors, not least genetic predisposition. Are there people at risk of addiction in the family? Are or have the parents ever been at risk of addiction?
The general upbringing also contributes to the development of a sense of responsibility and an inner attitude towards addictive substances. Children who are brought up in an authoritarian manner and who are forbidden to do many things may react rebelliously as adolescents and throw themselves into forbidden things all the more. Children must learn to communicate with their parents from an early age. Openness and honesty on both sides are important in understanding each other.
Whether parents share their drug experience with their children essentially depends on the individual case and the personal background of each child. However, if a child asks directly, you should answer them openly and honestly. It is important to send the right message. You have to explain to the children that it is important to be able to say no and not to bow to peer pressure against their will. They need to understand that there can be negative consequences and what the reality is.
Parents should put themselves in the child's shoes and try to understand how their message will be interpreted. A child who is easily impressed should be prepared with great care. The interpretation of society's views on drugs and alcohol will largely determine whether or not the child will be at risk.
Even if the parents' own experiences were fun, they should not idealise them. They should speak honestly about their experience, but without romanticising it. Instead, they should focus on what could have happened or how their fellow human beings could have been affected and impacted.
