There are people with whom it is simply not good to eat cherries. Many a day, or even the enjoyment of something altogether, is ruined because a difficult person forms a strong challenge and dominates the thoughts and feelings.... When dealing with particularly difficult people, there are ways to stay in control of the situation and not let yourself get upset.

 

 

The secrets of dealing with difficult people

 

1. keep a cool head.

 

The most important rule when dealing with a rude or inappropriate person is not to allow yourself to be provoked. The less you react emotionally to the other person's behaviour, the better you will be able to make sensible decisions. Anger and frustration can easily lead to reactions that you regret afterwards. When anger starts to boil over, take a deep breath and count to 10. In most cases, this is enough time to react and communicate more sensibly so that the problem does not escalate. 

If the 10 seconds weren't enough to calm you down, you should spend some time doing something else until you have yourself under control again.

 

2. is it worth it?

 

Some people who upset us are not really worth wasting the time and energy to respond appropriately. Even if you feel you are in the right, it is often not worth trying to convince a stubborn person of your opinion if the result is not relevant afterwards. 

Sometimes it can even be better to let the other person "win" so as not to put yourself at a disadvantage later on. So before you argue, you should weigh up the advantages and disadvantages of confrontation.

 

3. don't take everything personally

 

In most cases, negative confrontations are not a personal attack, but merely an outlet for the aggressor to express their own difficulties. In order to take confrontations less personally, you can try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and understand what might have caused the latest outburst. 

If the other person is in a tense situation, this is of course no excuse to take it out on other people, but it helps to understand that tension and aggression are usually not directed at you.

 

 

4. person and subject are two different things

 

In every confrontation, there are two elements that need to be differentiated: the person and your own relationship with that person and the issue you are arguing about. In this way, you can endeavour to treat the other person with respect and understanding without giving in on the issue.

 

5. take control of the situation

 

An unconsciously popular tactic in arguments is to distort the centre of attention. The difficult person emphasises the other person's mistakes instead of concentrating on solving the current problem. In doing so, they try to dominate the situation and put the other person on the defensive, i.e. make them feel insecure. Instead of falling into the trap of defending yourself, you should try to ask specific questions that relate to the problem itself. This allows you to put the other person in the centre of attention, as they have to answer the questions in order to find a solution.

If the problem cannot be solved immediately, you can also avoid escalation by simply changing the subject. This allows you to take control of the flow of communication and set the tone for the conversation.

 

6. good humour and humour to disarm

 

A casual remark is not always appropriate, but often a flippant response can prevent and reverse the rising tension of a situation. A smile and good humour have a disarming effect and put you in a superior position.

 

7. confront bullies

 

Bullies are known to seek out weaker victims. To escape a bully's attacks, you have to be superior and stronger. Instead of passively putting up with everything, you can challenge the other person in an appropriate manner. In most cases, the other person will be deterred by a strong reaction.