Is your partner a marriage muffler? Someone who is looking for a committed, long-term life relationship does not want to invest years of his or her life in a relationship that is not taken as seriously by the partner. There are also people who want to enter into a lifelong relationship but simply do not want to get married.
These personal attitudes to a partnership are not compatible with people who imagine a lasting partnership to be marriage. It is entirely up to each person whether he or she wants to marry or not, but both partners should pursue the same goal if possible. However, one can hardly ask the partner at the beginning of the relationship whether he or she is one of the marriage grouches. So how do you know whether a person is a marriage type or a marriage muffle?
Typical signs of a marriage moulder
Is he or she known everywhere in the city?
A well-travelled person with a string of superficial relationships knows the best restaurants and the best bars. If your date gets winks and knows the maître d' on a first-name basis at every restaurant you visit, it's likely he or she has done this circuit before, and with another date. Sure, some familiarity is great; good connections are a good sign. However, if your partner is too familiar with typical venues, the red flag applies.
Have you already met several ex-partners?
It's a small world, it makes sense that you might run into an old friend or former flame once or twice. But when every neighbourhood in the city seems like a minefield of ex-relationships, it gets a bit tiresome. Sure, some people have a more extensive track record than others. However, make sure you don't become another breadcrumb in a trail of commitment issues that the next date can follow.
Does he or she rush you out of bed in the morning?
A person who always has to go to meetings or work very early and has no desire to stay in bed and hang out on a Saturday morning, or leaves before you wake up, is not looking for any kind of commitment. It's hard, but a person who seriously wants to spend time with you will find the time.
Is he or she private with their phone?
If he or she hides his or her mobile phone and keeps it out of your reach and even ignores calls or messages when you are around, something might be wrong. If it is a person who has several superficial relationships running in parallel, he or she will do everything in his or her power to keep you away from his or her friends who might blow his or her cover.
Did he or she tend to avoid meetings with your friends - or his?
A marriage muffle sees no reason to get too attached to you, and that includes getting to know the parents. Sometimes a break-up is about more than just the two people in the relationship: it also means separating from your family, and a marriage muffle just doesn't want that much commitment. Not every person should introduce you to his or her people after the first date, but if after several weeks you still haven't met his or her acquaintances or family, be careful.
Make sure you have a common goal
Not everyone is ready to get married and not everyone is suited for it. This is a viable choice for everyone, but if you spend valuable time hoping for a different end goal than the partner has in mind, you could end up wasting some really important time in your life and missing out on other, more compatible partners. Make sure you and your partner are on the same life path, and avoid being a marriage muffin at all costs if you are a committed person!
