Fast jeder von uns kennt es: Man scrollt abends nach einem langen Tag noch durch Instagram oder TikTok, nur fünf Minuten, und plötzlich sind Stunden vergangen. Likes, Kommentare, Stories, sie vermitteln das Gefühl, ständig auf dem Laufenden sein zu müssen, immer dabei zu sein. Doch was bleibt am Ende? Oft ein Gefühl der Erschöpfung, der Unzufriedenheit oder des Vergleichs mit scheinbar perfekten Leben anderer.

Mentale Belastung im Alltag

Jugendliche berichten, dass sie nachts nicht mehr richtig schlafen, weil sie noch einen letzten Blick auf ihr Smartphone werfen müssen. Erwachsene fühlen sich gestresst, wenn Benachrichtigungen pausenlos piepen, während sie eigentlich entspannen oder arbeiten möchten. Und fast allen passiert es: Wir vergleichen unser Leben mit den Highlights anderer, und fühlen uns dabei manchmal klein, unbedeutend oder weniger erfolgreich.

Dieses alltägliche Verhalten mag harmlos erscheinen, doch Studien zeigen, dass ständiger Social-Media-Konsum das Risiko für Stress, Angstgefühle oder depressive Stimmung erhöhen kann. Es geht nicht um „falsch“ oder „richtig“, sondern darum, wie viel Raum diese Plattformen in unserem Kopf und in unserem Alltag einnehmen.

Gesellschaftliche Auswirkungen, die wir spüren

Nicht nur individuell, auch gesellschaftlich hat Social Media Auswirkungen. Algorithmen bevorzugen Inhalte, die polarisieren oder emotional aufgeladen sind: Nachrichten, Memes, Diskussionen. Schnell entsteht eine „Filterblase“, in der wir nur noch das sehen, was zu unserer eigenen Meinung passt. Freunde oder Bekannte diskutieren, aber die Perspektiven werden enger. Desinformation, Online-Mobbing oder das schnelle Verbreiten extremer Meinungen zeigen, wie diese digitalen Räume unsere sozialen Beziehungen und den gesellschaftlichen Zusammenhalt beeinflussen können.

Dennoch gibt es auch positive Erfahrungen: Soziale Medien haben es möglich gemacht, dass Menschen weltweit auf Missstände aufmerksam werden, Solidarität gezeigt wird und Bewegungen wie #MeToo globale Reichweite erhielten. Es sind Werkzeuge, deren Wirkung davon abhängt, wie wir sie nutzen, und das ist unsere Verantwortung.

Praktische Schritte zu mehr Achtsamkeit

Wir müssen Social Media nicht vollständig meiden, um von diesen Erkenntnissen zu profitieren. Kleine, bewusste Schritte reichen oft: Offline-Zeiten am Abend, gezieltes Hinterfragen von Inhalten, das Reduzieren von Benachrichtigungen oder das Ausmisten von Apps, die Stress verursachen. Selbst ein Wochenende ohne Feeds kann einen spürbaren Unterschied machen – mehr Ruhe, mehr Aufmerksamkeit für das, was wirklich wichtig ist.

Verantwortung für uns und unsere Gesellschaft

Soziale Medien sind weder gut noch schlecht, aber sie sind mächtige Werkzeuge. Wer sich ihrer Mechanismen bewusst wird, bewusst Grenzen setzt und reflektiert, wie er oder sie sie nutzt, schützt die eigene mentale Gesundheit und trägt dazu bei, dass die Gesellschaft weniger fragmentiert wird. Es liegt an uns allen, Verantwortung zu übernehmen, nicht nur für unser eigenes Wohlbefinden, sondern auch für die Art von Gemeinschaft, in der wir leben möchten.

Was aber ist für die Wachtelhaltung im eigenen Garten wichtig? 

• jeden Tag etwas Zeit für die Tiere
• für maximal 8 Wachteln mindestens 2 m² Grundfläche
• Haltung im Nebengebäude oder einer geschützten Voliere
• ausgewogene Fütterung aus Kraftfutter und Frischfutter
• artgerecht eingerichteter Lebensraum

Die Haltung der Japanischen Legewachteln ist immer dann besonders interessant, wenn einem die Tierhaltung als Hobby liegt oder Wachteleier zur Stärkung der eigenen Gesundheit eingesetzt werden. Diese kosten im Handel fast das Gleiche, wie Hühnereier und wiegen nur gute 10 Gramm. 

Nebengebäude oder Voliere?

Japanische Legewachteln sind überraschend robust und kommen in einer geschützten Voliere sicher durch den Winter. Diese muss dafür aber zu drei Seiten geschützt sein – Doppelstegplatten aus dem Gewächshausbau wären denkbar. Die offene Seite soll entgegengesetzt zur Wetterseite liegen – also meistens nach Osten. Auch eine Überdachung wäre gut, damit die Tiere immer einen trockenen Rückzugsort finden. Als Einstreu für den Außenbereich eignet sich Pinienrinde – diese schimmelt weniger und bindet den Ammoniak.

Die Wachteln müssen sich in der Voliere zurückziehen können und man selber sollte die Tür hinter sich schließen. Ansonsten wird ab und an mal eine Wachtel aufsteigen und für immer weg sein. 

Bei dem Aufwand für eine Voliere ist es für viele einfacher, ein altes Gartenhaus umzubauen. Theoretisch lässt sich noch ein Auslauf anbauen, der über eine Hühnerklappe mit dem Stallbereich verbunden wird. Der Bereich für die Legewachteln soll durch eine robuste Bodenwanne aus Kunststoff oder Siebdruckplatten ausgekleidet werden. Die eigentliche Unterteilung lässt sich auch aus Kükendraht an Holzlatten einbauen. Wichtig ist nur, dass der Bereich für die Reinigung gut erreichbar ist, die Frontseite könnte aufklappbar oder entnehmbar sein. 

Auch die Innenhaltung hat eine Besonderheit: Wachteln benötigen UV-Licht für die Bildung von Vitamin-D. Das heißt, dass sie in Innenräumen eine UV-Lampe für Geflügel benötigen, sonst kommt es zu Mangelerscheinungen. Wer mit dieser Lampe im Winter noch den Tag verlängert, hat insgesamt mehr Wachteleier. Eine Steigerung pro Legewachtel von knapp 200 auf über 250 Eier wäre im ersten Legejahr sehr realistisch. 

Zu beachten: Wachteln sind schreckhaft und heben aus dem Stand kraftvoll ab. Wenn die harte Decke niedrig hängt, kommt es zu Verletzungen. Die Deckenhöhe soll deswegen bei 40 cm liegen oder es kann ein alter Vorhang unter die Decke gespannt werden. 

Einrichtung und Pflege im Wachtelstall

Ob Voliere oder Nebengebäude – Wachteln benötigen ein Sandbad und Verstecke. Das Sandbad dient der Erholung und der Gefiederpflege. Die Verstecke aus kleinen Schutzhütten oder in die Ecke gestellten Zweigen dienen dem Schutzbedürfnis. In diesen geschützten Stellen liegen die meisten Eier. 

Auf der frei bleibenden Fläche können Wasser- und Futterspender stehen. Wegen der Hygiene ist es besser, wenn diese auf passender Höhe von der Decke hängen. Stülptränken und kleine Futtersilos eignen sich. Es soll in etwa so viel gefüttert werden, wie in einem Tag durchgeht, damit das Futter frisch bleibt. Das Wasser darf im Winter nicht zufrieren, im Außenbereich wären eventuell Tränkenwärmer mit Akku notwendig.

Außerdem benötigen Japanische Legewachteln täglich etwas Frischfutter. Wer den Platz hat, sollte eine kleine Kräuterweide säen und täglich einen Büschel verfüttern. Auch Reste von Bio-Gemüse und etwas Obst eignen sich. Zitrusfrüchte, Zwiebelgewächse und Avocados sind jedoch ungeeignet. 

Sichtbare Verschmutzungen sowie der Wasserspender sollen täglich gereinigt werden. Sobald die Einstreu insgesamt verschmutzt ist, muss auch diese komplett gewechselt werden. Das gilt selbst für den Sand im Sandbad. Zur Einstreu: Pinienrinde in der Voliere kann länger liegen bleiben und ließe sich sogar mit dem Wasserschlauch reinigen. 

Die Wachteleier

Wachteleier gelten als Delikatesse und sind vielseitig einsetzbar. Gekocht werden sie eingelegt und halten sich lange. Sie können auch zu Eierlikör verarbeitet werden. Wer sie sich brät, sollte sie zuerst alle aufschlagen und in eins in die Pfanne geben. Gekocht sollten sie mit einer Wachtelzange geöffnet werden, ansonsten kann es etwas schwierig werden.

Geht es einem hingegen um die Gesundheit, dann wären rohe Wachteleier in Fruchtsäften der gängige Weg. Zweimal täglich werden für Erwachsene 4 Wachteleier roh auf nüchternem Magen eingenommen. Eine Wirkung soll nach vier Wochen einsetzen. Wachteleikuren sollen bei sämtlichen Allergien, aber auch bei Neurodermitis, Asthma, Herz-Kreislauf-Erkrankungen oder Bronchitis helfen. Sie senken das negative Cholesterin oder stabilisieren den Blutdruck. 

Ob solche Versprechen bei einem selber wirklich einsetzen, ist die andere Frage, die sich nur im Selbstversuch testen lässt. Und bei den Preisen für Wachteleier und auch für Hühnereier zahlt sich die eigene kleine Wachtelhaltung mit Spaß und vielen Eiern schnell aus. Die Haltung der kleinen Vögel ist immerhin sehr entspannend – Legewachteln werden schnell futterzahm und sind drollig zu beobachten. 

Dies könnte Dich interessieren:

Rearing and care of chicken chicks

Healthy food for Zebra Finches

First aid for sick birds

At the centre of social justice and equality is the recognition of the inherent worth and dignity of every individual, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status or other identity characteristics. It is about creating a society in which everyone has equal access to opportunities, resources and rights and in which systemic barriers to equality are removed. To realise this vision, we must confront deep-rooted prejudices, challenge discriminatory practices and advocate for policies that promote fairness and equity for all.

One of the cornerstones of social justice is recognising and celebrating the diversity of a society. This means recognising and valuing the unique perspectives, experiences and contributions of people from different backgrounds and with different identities. It requires creating inclusive spaces where everyone feels respected, represented and empowered to thrive. By embracing diversity, we not only enrich our communities and institutions, but also foster a sense of belonging and solidarity among all members of society.

However, realising social justice and equality is not without its challenges. Deep-rooted prejudices, institutional biases and structural inequalities continue to perpetuate inequalities and injustices in different areas of life. From inequalities in access to healthcare and education to structural racism and discrimination in the criminal justice system, the fight for equality encompasses a wide range of issues that require urgent attention and action.

Racism and discrimination are a major obstacle to social justice and equality

One of the greatest obstacles to social justice and equality is the persistence of structural racism and discrimination. Despite progress in civil rights and racial equality, ethnic minorities continue to face disproportionate levels of poverty, unemployment and incarceration. The Black Lives Matter movement, which gained momentum in response to police violence and racial injustice, has brought renewed attention to the need for systemic reform and accountability in law enforcement and beyond.

Likewise, gender inequality remains a pervasive issue affecting women and girls worldwide. From pay gaps and gender-based violence to barriers to education and leadership opportunities, women continue to face structural challenges that limit their full participation and empowerment. Efforts to realise gender equality must address not only overt forms of discrimination, but also the underlying social norms and attitudes that perpetuate gender stereotypes and prejudices.

In addition to racial and gender inequalities, other marginalised groups also face particular challenges in their quest for social justice and equality. LGBTQ+ people, people with disabilities, indigenous communities and migrants are among those who experience discrimination and marginalisation in various forms. To create a truly inclusive society, we must amplify the voices of these communities, advocate for their rights and challenge the systems of oppression that limit their opportunities and freedoms.

To advance the cause of social justice and equality, individuals, communities and institutions must commit to meaningful action. This includes advocating for policy reforms to address systemic injustices, supporting grassroots movements and community-led initiatives, and engaging in dialogue and education to foster understanding and empathy. It also requires cultivating a culture of connectedness and solidarity where people stand together and advocate for justice and equality for all.

The path to social justice and equality is a complex and multi-layered endeavour that requires ongoing commitment and collective effort. By embracing diversity, confronting structural injustices and advocating for meaningful change, we can move closer to realising a society where everyone has equal rights, opportunities and dignity. We must continue to work together to build a more just, inclusive and equal world for future generations.

Transgender people need to be supported as children

How to convince others of your opinion: Both in professional and private life, success often depends on changing other people's minds and convincing them of your own opinion. Dissuading someone from a deep-seated conviction is surprisingly difficult, and few have a talent for it. How do you change people's minds when they have a different opinion?

Especially in discussions on the internet, many people mistakenly think that you can change other people's opinions by insulting and belittling them, preferably in capital letters. Those who haven't noticed yet: This method never works. On the contrary, verbal challenges and insults harden the other person's opinion and make it even harder to convince them.

How to convince others of your opinion

Those who are smarter support their argument with an accumulation of facts to convince the other person. However, this tactic is not much more successful than the first. Facts do not normally change a person's mind because his conviction predetermines which facts he considers valid or relevant. The stronger his conviction, the more effective he is at ignoring proven facts that might undermine his opinion. Often, contrary facts seem to strengthen rather than weaken the opinion.

How to form a strong opinion

To dissuade another from their opinion, one should first understand how strong the conviction is and where it comes from. Strong opinions are formed through:

• Frequent repetition. When people hear or see an opinion repeated and reinforced several times through the selective presentation of facts, they believe it more strongly. The concept of advertising is based on this tendency.
• Workplace. When people feel that they have to believe something in order not to lose their job, they will cling to that belief despite a mountain of contradictory facts.
• Security. When persons feel that their way of life is threatened, they cling to any belief that promises them security in the future.
• Identity. The strongest beliefs are those that define one's identity. For example, if a person has grown up in a strictly religious culture, it is very difficult to change their mind about that religion. Criticism of that religion is interpreted as a personal attack.

Pressure creates counterpressure

Any opinions that come from the above factors cannot be changed directly. The more facts one brings up to support one's point of view, the more the other person resists and hardens his or her point of view. The same applies if one tries to make the other person's arguments invalid.

If someone tries to change someone else's mind, the rule is that "pressure creates resistance". The more pressure you apply, the more counter-pressure the other person brings back.

Because too much pressure creates resistance, it is pointless to try to change someone else's mind through a direct attack.

How do you retune other people?

Instead of going against the other person's beliefs and thus creating resistance, you should show the other person how their beliefs actually support your point of view, not the point of view they themselves currently hold. This can be done in three steps:

• Acknowledge the opinion of the other person. Just as "pressure creates resistance", so too does "acceptance creates flexibility". If you show that you understand the other person's beliefs and accept them as valid, even if you do not agree with them one hundred percent, the other person does not feel attacked and thus does not completely resist the arguments.
• Weakness the associations. Lead the other person to see flaws in their logic that links their opinion to the conclusion you want to change. This is best done by asking questions, rather than making statements, because questions do not back the other person into a corner, but make them look at their belief from the centre, whereas statements can be interpreted like an attack.
• Create new associations. Show how the other person's beliefs - when taken as a whole - are more credible in leading to different conclusions or opinions than those they had before. In other words, never try to impose your opinion on another. Just show them how an alternative conclusion better reflects those beliefs.

Rhetoric - convincing and influencing people

Respect others and they will respect you

It is annoying when someone interrupts. People who constantly interrupt others in conversation can be really annoying. It's especially annoying when you can't get a word in edgewise because of it. What can you do to prevent or reduce these interruptions? It is important that you make it clear that interrupting is annoying, otherwise people will keep interrupting you.

People who communicate well do not need to speak in between

Good speakers don't interrupt others, they listen and wait to hear what other people have to say before they respond. You can assume that if someone doesn't let you finish and always interrupts, that person is not really interested in the topic but just wants to dominate. Statistically, it is mostly men who interrupt, especially women. This is not only a sign of lack of respect, but also shows a certain insecurity that is supposed to be covered up by loud and disrespectful behaviour.

Show clearly that talking in between is not acceptable

If it annoys you that someone won't let you finish and always interrupts, you have to make it clear, otherwise it won't stop. Make it clear that you will not tolerate such behaviour. The best way to defend yourself is to become more confident and aggressive against this behaviour step by step.

How do you deal with it when someone interferes?

Talking in between once

Everyone interrupts other people occasionally by mistake. So you don't have to get angry just because of one time.

Talking in between for the second time

Wait until the speaker pauses, then politely but firmly point out that he has interrupted you and then finish your sentence.

Third time speaking in between

Hold up your hand and say that you have been interrupted again and that you do not accept it. Then finish your sentence.

From the fourth time talking in-between

Stand up or take a step back. Tell your counterpart that you will not continue this conversation until he behaves more respectfully. Then turn away.
From that moment on, it should be clear to everyone that they are not getting anywhere with you this way and they should change their behaviour. There are people who are so used to always interfering that they will not change. If this annoys you too much, then turn away in time in the future. You don't have to back down just because someone else is disrespectful. You don't have to take it just to avoid a confrontation.

What happens if you don't fight back?

If you don't resist when others always interrupt you and don't listen, you won't be taken seriously. People who constantly interrupt and get ahead assume that you have nothing important to say and that their own opinion is more valuable than yours. Even if you are reluctant to defend yourself aggressively, remember that it is not worth losing face just to keep the peace. When you defend yourself, you earn respect, even though the other person may react angrily at first. Speak your mind and defend yourself, otherwise you will go down.

Interrupting while talking on the phone

It is almost more disturbing when someone is talking in between and constantly "on the phone". You are talking to someone on the phone and someone is always talking in the background and interfering with the conversation. Once or twice is fine, but it stops the flow of conversation if you have to hold the person on the other end of the line all the time. The only thing that helps here is to tell the person on the other end of the line clearly that this is disturbing. Say it calmly in front of your conversation partner's ears that it is unacceptable and that you cannot concentrate on the conversation. If this does not help, leave the room or turn your back so that you can speak in peace.

Respect others and they will respect you

Someone interrupting you? Do exactly THAT

Consumers often have to wait in long queues to buy a product. This not only creates economic costs due to lost time, but also psychological costs due to boredom, frustration and customer dissatisfaction.
How do long queues influence consumer behaviour?

Waiting for service influences buying behaviour

Long queues show that the product is in demand

Given that long queues make customers unhappy, why are they so widespread? Shouldn't every shop take care to serve its customers quickly? The fact that customers often have to wait for a long time is partly due to the fact that a long queue is a universal sign of good quality of the product for other customers. A restaurant where no one eats is not popular, even if there would not be a long wait, because it tells the customer that the quality cannot be good. So here, waiting for service can even be desirable.

Do you buy more if you wait longer?

Market researchers have studied the effect of waiting on customers' buying decisions. Statistically, the more time a customer spends in a shop, the more he or she buys. Boredom while waiting causes the customer's eyes to roam over the products on offer and in this way they always find something that interests them. In supermarkets, smaller and less expensive products are strategically presented at the checkout so that the waiting customer looks at them and throws them into his shopping trolley, since they don't cost that much and therefore don't have to think about it for long.
In restaurants, drinks are served first, before the food is ordered, so that the customer already starts drinking when looking at the menu. By the time the food arrives, the drink is already ready and he orders another one. Here, waiting for service clearly causes an increase in consumption behaviour.

In addition to these facts, the customer is conscious of his time. If he spends a long time waiting to be served, when he is finally served he wants to use this time to make an additional purchase so that he does not have to come back shortly and wait again. A larger purchase allows customers to offset the time cost of the long wait. If they were to buy very little after investing all that waiting time, the long wait would not have been worthwhile.

More customer satisfaction does not always mean greater revenue

Companies are always trying to make customers' waiting time more pleasant. Of course, the problem would be solved immediately by providing more staff, but this is often not profitable for reasons of cost or space. Screens or reading material are often provided to entertain customers. However, experience has shown that although these practices make the waiting time more pleasant and thus the customers more satisfied, they end up spending less money. This means that if the company only focuses on customer satisfaction, revenues will decrease.

This is in line with the unconscious compensation of the time spent. When distracted during the waiting time, the customer does not feel the need to compensate for the time by making a larger purchase, because the waiting time seems less long to him.

Queues are often calculated

In many situations, a reasonably long waiting time is advantageous from the company's point of view. This is especially the case when the correlation between purchase quantity and service time is low.

Customers seem more inclined to increase the amount they buy to justify the time spent than to stop buying there in the future due to their dissatisfaction.
Whether a queue has a positive impact on the company often influences the consumption decision. Customers queuing to buy the new iPhone will certainly not buy another phone just because they have to wait longer. In this case, it often makes more sense to serve more customers at the same time to increase customer satisfaction. Even if a customer already buys a larger quantity because of the offer, the effect of a queue is rather insignificant. This is because discount supermarkets, for example, often take special care to avoid queues at the checkout, as the overall customer satisfaction scores are more positive.

What does this mean for the consumer in the queue

How can the customer take advantage of this knowledge of waiting for service and the impact on buying behaviour? If one is aware of the effect of the queue, next time one should try to distract oneself from boredom elsewhere and not study the products on offer. This way you can avoid spending more money than you intended.

How to recognise when you are being manipulated

Factors influencing purchasing decisions & features explained simply

Narcissists are people with narcissistic personality disorder, while psychopaths have a range of different character traits. But because a psychopath is usually narcissistic, does that also mean that a narcissist is psychopathic? How do you know if someone is a narcissist or a psychopath?

Narcissist or psychopath

What is a narcissist

People with narcissistic personality disorder are characterised by a profound and long-term, exaggerated sense of self-importance and egotism, along with a complete lack of empathy for others. They believe they are entitled to prestige and power because their distorted thought pattern gives them an excessive sense of superiority.
Narcissists are excessively grandiose, either in their imagination or in their behaviour, and have a constant need for admiration. The complete lack of empathy for others makes them egotists. Narcissism becomes evident by early adulthood and presents itself in a variety of ways. Five of the following nine criteria must be met for a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder:

- Exaggerated complacency
- Fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance or beauty
- The conviction that he or she is unique and should only be surrounded by high-ranking people or institutions
- A craving for excessive admiration
- sense of entitlement
- Exploitative behaviour
- A lack of empathy
- Envy of others or the belief that others are envious of him or her
- Arrogant and haughty attitude

Narcissist or psychopath: What is a psychopath as opposed to a narcissist?

Typical emotional characteristics of a psychopath are a lack of guilt, empathy and bonding with other people. The interpersonal characteristics of psychopathy are superficial charm and narcissism. Typical behaviours of the psychopath are ruthlessness and dishonest, manipulative and risk-taking actions.

According to the Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy, narcissism is an interpersonal symptom of psychopathy. Indeed, symptoms of narcissism such as grandiosity, exploitative behaviour and a lack of empathy are common in psychopaths. A psychopath could and probably would fit the diagnosis for narcissistic personality disorder, therefore psychopaths are narcissists.

Psychopaths are narcissistic, are narcissists also psychopaths?

Even if there is overlap and a person fits the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder, it does not mean that person is a psychopath. To be considered a psychopath, other psychopathic traits come into play such as a lack of bonding ability, superficial charm, dishonesty, manipulation and reckless risk taking. Certainly, psychopathic narcissists exist, but they are not the norm.

Is Donald Trump a narcissist?

Several experts believe that President Donald Trump suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It was recently described in the American Journal of Psychiatry as "significant dysfunction and psychosocial disability". There are apparently two variants of the disorder, with Trump said to belong to the thick-skinned, outspoken type who can be socially charming despite having no sense of other people's need and exhibiting exploitative behaviour.

What is the difference between a sociopath and a psychopath?

Sociopath and Psychopath - What is the difference?

What are personality disorders?

In psychological terms, personality is defined as the way of thinking, feeling and behaving that makes a person unique and distinguishes them from others. Genetics, environment and experiences influence personality, and unlike transient moods or emotions, personality usually remains relatively stable throughout life.

A person is diagnosed with a personality disorder when their thoughts, feelings and behaviour patterns deviate from cultural norms and expectations, cause distress or significant problems in functioning in society, and persist over time.

Typically, personality disorders (such as narcissist or psychopath) affect the way a person thinks about themselves and others, how they react emotionally, how they relate to others and how they control your behaviour.

As these personality disorders are often portrayed in cinema and in the news and manifest in similar ways, they are often conflated and confused with each other.

However, it is important to understand that these are two different diseases, each with its own symptoms and diagnostic criteria, in order to avoid a wrong diagnosis.

Despite the ever-increasing media coverage of transgender people, our world is unfortunately still not an easy place to grow up as a transgender child or teenager. Most parents, daycare centres and school teachers don't know much about gender diversity in children. Some people still believe that gender interests in children are "wrong" and should not be tolerated, let alone accepted. In fact, many still think that gender identity can be learned or chosen. But where does that leave the adolescent transgender people whose joy of life and self-esteem depends on how they find their way in society?

Gender basics

Children are not born knowing what it means to be a boy or a girl; they learn it from their parents, older children and others around them. This learning process starts early. Once a doctor or other health care provider declares - based on observation of the newborn's external sex organs - "it's a boy" or "it's a girl", the world around a child begins to teach these lessons. This means, for example, blue and pink clothes, "boy toys" and "girl toys", or telling young girls that they are "pretty" and boys are "strong". It continues into adolescence and adulthood as social expectations of male and female expression and behaviour become more rigid.

Gender spectrum

But a gender does not simply exist in these binary terms; gender is rather a spectrum along which all people express and identify with masculinity and femininity to varying degrees. Transgender people identify along this spectrum, but also identify as a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth.

Gender identity

Gender identity and expression are central to the way we see ourselves and engage in the world around us. This is certainly true for transgender and gender non-conforming children and young people, for whom family support is absolutely crucial.

In fact, a growing body of social science research shows that gender-affirming behaviour by parents and other adults (teachers, grandparents, etc.) significantly improves mental health and well-being. The opposite is true for transgender children, who are more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression and are at greater risk of substance abuse and homelessness if their immediate caregivers are rejecting or hostile.

Transgender children: gender stereotypes

There are still doctors and psychologists who advise parents to correct or even "punish" certain inclinations in their children. If boys like to play with girls' toys, like the colours pink and purple, or want to wear a princess nightgown to sleep, a frightening number of "experts" still advise taking away boys' feminine toys and insisting instead only on stereotypical boys' clothes, boys' toys and male playmates. Somewhat less often you find the situation reversed, but many parents try to stop their girls from playing with cars and having supposedly masculine hobbies. And they do this without regard for their children's feelings and what they are doing by this "correction".

Even as a child, it becomes apparent which sex is in the body

Many people, including so-called professionals, believe children cannot know they are transgender. They insist that it is impossible for a 4-year-old, 7-year-old, 11-year-old or even a 14-year-old to know that they are in the wrong body. As a result, the first hurdle any transgender child or youth has to overcome is convincing those around them that they are capable of knowing whether they feel like a boy or a girl, both or neither, regardless of their body parts.

A gender change is difficult for adults to accept

Once a young person has managed to convince their parents of their true feelings, despite the gender they were assigned at birth, the next hurdle awaits. A change of gender is still difficult for adults to come to terms with. It is not even about the physical gender change, just allowing their child to pretend to be a member of the opposite sex from now on is not easy to cope with. That this is still so difficult is solely due to society's perception of the issue.

Every person wants to be accepted as they are

All of us, whether as children or adults, want to be accepted by society. Each of us wants to be seen as who we really are, as we know ourselves to be. We want our identity to be recognised and valued by those around us, especially people who are important to us, people we love and who love us, our family.

We all long for free and easy interpersonal relationships. None of us wants to have to hide a part of ourselves. None of us wants to feel forced to choose between certain characteristics of our personality in order to be accepted. Transgender children and youth are no exception, they too long for carefree acceptance of their true personalities. When they do not see themselves accepted for who they are, it increasingly leads to depression, despair and hopelessness. The risk of depression, hopelessness and suicide among transgender youth is acute, especially when there is a lack of support and acceptance within their own families.

Everyone can help change society

The more social workers, psychologists, school counsellors, family therapists and other mental health professionals understand the truth of gender identity, the more society will learn about the experiences and needs of transgender youth and their families. Only then can we hope to not only prevent transgender youth from taking their own lives in the future, but also give them the opportunity to live happy and fulfilling lives as adults. The more families, teachers and youth workers know about how to teach acceptance and support for transgender youth, the greater the likelihood that these youth will become healthy, happy and productive adults. Each and every one of us can make a difference in this.

I am Sophia! Life as a transgender child

Five advantages in lesbian families

Do not ask trans children to explain themselves

Never try to weigh reservations or prejudices with a transgender child. For the child, the matter is simple. And it doesn't feel the need to justify itself or to others. Nor should he be expected to; he is, after all, still a child. No child should ever feel devalued or have its existence questioned.

Family acceptance is important

Children's mental and physical health is affected when they feel that their family rejects their transgender identity. Transgender children who feel rejected by their family are more likely to commit suicide, develop depression, use illicit drugs and contract HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.

Talk openly with the child and other family members about transgender identity.
Show affection to the child when they tell you about their transgender identity.
Take the child to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or more (LGBTQ+) events or organisations.
Connect your child with an adult transgender role model to show options for the future.
Stand up for the child if they are being mistreated or bullied by someone else because of their transgender identity.
These behaviours can make the child feel rejected.

Accept your normality

Most character traits are evenly distributed across the population. About 65% of people have average intelligence, personality and creativity, as well as average memory and leadership potential. Unfortunately, few people are aware of this. They would describe themselves as above average in many desirable traits, which of course is not possible in purely mathematical terms.

Rising self-indulgence

Interestingly, it is almost insulting when someone is called average. In today's world, everyone strives to be "unique" and "special". In fact, most people would rather be distinguished by something negative than just normal. Normality is not enough. Striving for uniqueness is a form of narcissism that has only begun to rise steadily in the last hundred years and is further encouraged by social media.

Negative effects of uniqueness

Contrary to the popular belief today that uniqueness is desirable, there are many advantages to just being normal and average. Many psychological ailments grow out of the urge to be special. Average people are far less likely to suffer from depression or mental health problems. Even the traits known as positive, such as ambition, sociability, self-confidence and conscientiousness, can become a health problem if lived in extreme form.
Ambition can develop into greed, sociability into an addiction to being the centre of attention, self-confidence into arrogance and conscientiousness into obsessive-compulsive disorder.
So instead of achieving particularly high values in such good character traits, it is much more desirable to be in the normal range, otherwise the traits become destructive. Strive for normality.

The quest for uniqueness in consumer society

Genetically, every human being and every animal is unique in this world. So there is no reason to stand out with special characteristics. Perceived uniqueness does not make people happy. Unfortunately, great emphasis is also placed by the media on each person being special in order to entice them to consume more in society. The glorification of non-conformity and unconventionality is a bulwark of our consumer society.

It is called "average" because it is an average of the totality

In truth, our world is created for average people. If everyone actually excelled at some extreme, our society could not function. But many people cling to the illusion that they themselves are the exception in a sea of normal and average people.

Of course, social progress is shaped by people who are exceptional in one way or another. However, these people make up only about one per cent. They stand out from the crowd because of a combination of exceptional knowledge or talent and the coincidence of being in the right place at the right time where they can contribute through their exceptionality. If the remaining 99% could come to terms with the fact that their abilities and attributes fall within a normal range, this would reflect a healthier, more rational self-concept rather than illusions and delusions of grandeur.
Basically, it is healthier for you to see yourself as you really are instead of suffering from a distorted self-image. While there seem to be advantages to presenting oneself as more competent than one is, this self-deception comes at a price.
When people with fantasised rather than real talents rise to positions of power and influence, their career success is offset by the collective failure of others, because no one gains any advantage from the success of incompetent people. Sooner or later their incompetence comes to light, usually when the damage is already too high.

Normality is likeable

Most people are more likely to see positivity in others if they live in harmony with their averageness. A modest person with average talents is usually more likeable than a complacent person with average talents. Those who are modest show their true competence.
The surest way to antagonise your peers is to show that you think you are better than they are. When you speak, every facet of your personality is on display. The slightest hint of megalomania or self-importance is negative. Humility on the other hand wins confidence and goodwill. Normality is a good thing!

Normal weight without diet

Loving yourself: Why you don't need a perfect body to be happy