{"id":288,"date":"2008-05-24T23:28:11","date_gmt":"2008-05-24T21:28:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/neuropoolwp-com.beast-hosting.com\/2008\/05\/24\/was-katzen-wissen-sollten\/"},"modified":"2008-05-24T23:28:11","modified_gmt":"2008-05-24T21:28:11","slug":"was-katzen-wissen-sollten","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.neuropool.com\/en\/reports\/comedy\/was-katzen-wissen-sollten.html","title":{"rendered":"What cats should know"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"What
Cats also have to adapt to their owner and learn a few rules. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Here is a summary of the most important rules that a cat should learn as quickly as possible.<\/p>\n


\n
Yelling at the dog will not open the food can by itself.<\/p>\n

When I hide behind the curtain I have to be careful that my tail doesn't peek out. <\/p>\n

I have to practise my \"killing look\" that I give my owner when I'm angry.<\/p>\n

When I once again hit the carpet after overeating, I have to walk away gracefully, as if it's none of my business.<\/p>\n

I shouldn't assume that the balcony door is open when I want to run outside.<\/p>\n

If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, it might disappear until I get hungry.<\/p>\n

The guinea pig sleeps a lot, I don't need to watch it for hours on end.<\/p>\n

When I bite a cactus, it bites back.<\/p>\n

I will no longer look under the bed and growl for no reason, especially after my mistress has just watched X-Files.<\/p>\n

Televisions and computer screens are not there to illuminate my backside.<\/p>\n

However attractive they may be, my mum's earrings are not toys.<\/p>\n

If I lie down on the stairs and play dead while someone comes through the door, one day it will come true.<\/p>\n

The cat food is already dead, I don't need to distribute it everywhere.<\/p>\n

I am a carnivore, potted plants are not part of my diet.<\/p>\n

It is not a good idea to lick the cream out of the coffee cup before it has dissolved in the boiling hot coffee.<\/p>\n

The goldfish likes to live in water, which is where it should stay.<\/p>\n

I can't jump through closed windows to chase birds.<\/p>\n

The neighbour's dog has been living there for six years, so I don't have to panic every time I see him.<\/p>\n

My mistress is happier about my plastic mouse as a present than about the cockroach.<\/p>\n

If my mistress wants to share her sandwich with me, she will give me a piece. It's noticeable when I eat it from the other side.<\/p>\n

If I scratch the furniture, I get sprayed wet.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Auch Katzen m\u00fcssen sich ihrem Frauchen oder Herrchen anpassen und ein paar Regeln lernen.   Hier ist eine Zusammenfassung der wichtigsten Regeln, die eine Katze m\u00f6glichst schnell lernen sollte.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":287,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_thumbnail_id":["287"],"_fgj2wp_old_id":["119"],"rank_math_focus_keyword":["was katzen wissen sollten"],"rank_math_analytic_object_id":["3363"],"rank_math_internal_links_processed":["1"],"_trp_automatically_translated_slug_en_GB":["what-cats-should-know"]},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-288","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-comedy","entry","has-media"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.neuropool.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/288","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.neuropool.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.neuropool.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neuropool.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neuropool.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=288"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.neuropool.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/288\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neuropool.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/287"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.neuropool.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=288"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neuropool.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=288"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.neuropool.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=288"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}