Striving for perfection seems to be a good thing on the surface, because perfectionism helps with planning, organising and achieving goals. However, perfectionism can have negative consequences. Teachers and parents of children with a tendency towards perfectionism should encourage the child but try to protect them from these negative effects.

 

Perfectionism can hinder the actual achievement of goals, because nothing seems good enough to the perfectionist as an end result. It is therefore not uncommon for people with a tendency towards perfection to refuse to compromise and instead end up empty-handed. The resulting failure to achieve goals is seen as a failure and can lead to depression and nervousness as well as low self-esteem.

 

Of course, perfectionism can also lead to ground-breaking inventions and successes, so it's important to find a healthy balance.

 

As young people, perfectionists often see themselves as failures because they never or only rarely seem to achieve their goals. They have to learn to see their tendency towards perfection as a talent and not as an obstacle. In their mind's eye, they see a perfect result that does not materialise in this form due to the limitations of their manual skills or resources. This frustration can be extremely demotivating if the child does not learn to understand the principle of perfectionism. By better understanding their tendency, the child is able to have great successes, while on the other hand their inner attitude can prevent them from succeeding.

 

 

Perfection is only ever achievable for the person concerned. Only when you yourself are satisfied with the result do you feel successful. Striving for perfection is desirable in everything you do, as long as you understand that it is not always achievable. Those who only

A perfectionist who strives for mediocrity will hardly achieve more than this, while a person who seeks a perfect result will not be satisfied with a mediocre result and will continue to work on it. A perfectionist should understand the limits of their actual possibilities in achieving their goal and learn to accept a compromise, at least temporarily, if necessary.

 

How to encourage a perfectionist child

 

It is entirely possible to aim high and strive for perfection while avoiding the negative effects. Strategies for a healthy balance between perfectionism and compromise include

 

1. the journey is the goal. The child should learn to focus more on the process than on the end result. Working on a project should be as much fun as completing it.

 

2. mistakes are not a failure, but an opportunity to improve. The child should learn to understand that it can learn from its mistakes.

 

3. depending on what the issue is, parents should discuss with the child whether an 80% result would actually be so much worse than striving for 100%. What are the consequences if the result is not one hundred per cent, but something is achieved, while striving for perfection may lead to never reaching the goal.

 

4. if you recognise signs of nervousness in the children, you should talk to them about their own expectations. They must decide how realistic and achievable their personal goal is.

 

5. perfectionists tend to want to avoid risks if they are afraid that they will not be able to achieve their ambitious goal. They should learn to confront their fears and understand what they are afraid of. (What is the worst that can happen?)

 

6 Not all goals are worth achieving to perfection. The child should learn to prioritise tasks and concentrate on the important things. Perfectionists are more likely to achieve a satisfactory result if they learn to differentiate between less important and more important things.

Signs of perfectionism in children