Suicide is almost as common as murder. Unfortunately, there are many people in our society who at some point don't know what to do and take their own lives. That's sad enough, but when it's someone you knew yourself or were even very close to, it often plunges you into a deep hole.
How do you deal with the fact that a loved one has taken their own life?


Signs of suicide

People who plan to commit suicide often talk about it in their last days. So if you know someone who is talking about suicide, it could be a sign that they are really planning it. Inform a suicide prevention organisation, which can take the necessary steps.

Older men are the most likely to take their own lives. In general, men are more inclined to commit suicide, while women talk more about suicidal thoughts.

Farewell letter

Farewell letters are rather rare and usually do not explain the motive. In only 25% of all suicide cases are suicide notes left behind. People who have chosen the path of suicide have usually had difficulty expressing their feelings to other people in their lives and find it just as difficult to do so in the form of a suicide note.

Feelings of guilt

When a friend commits suicide, the survivor often feels guilty because they did not see the signs coming. Suicide is still seen by society as a cowardly way out, which is why the survivor often feels cut off and isolated from others.
The most common feelings of the bereaved are shock, disbelief, anger or guilt. The search for answers begins in an attempt to understand the loss.

What do you say to the bereaved

As an outsider, it is very difficult to find the right words for the bereaved person, because you don't want to hurt them any further. It's best to express your condolences, but otherwise don't broach the subject unless they do so themselves. Listen if they want to pour their heart out to you and show understanding. You don't necessarily have to have solutions ready, it often helps to have a good listener.
Offer your help in daily life without openly showing pity. Talk to him normally and let him guide you.
The bereaved person will be very sensitive, so avoid phrases like "I know how you feel" if you have not been in the same situation.
Let him know that you are there for him if he needs you, but don't force yourself on him.