Envy is one of theIt is one of the most unhealthy feelings because if it gets out of control, it inevitably leads to depression, hatred, anger and imbalance. It is one of the most unhealthy feelings, because if envy gets out of control, it inevitably leads to depression, hatred, anger and imbalance - in short, it makes our lives unbearable.

How is it that we become envious of other people or their possessions? Only because we focus on the wrong things in life.

We concentrate too much on 1. our own failure and 2. the success of others.

How can we direct our focus in the right direction and learn to be happy with ourselves?

Our biggest problem is that we set ourselves too high goals in too short a time, which we can't necessarily fulfil. If we don't achieve the goal we set ourselves, we become dissatisfied and see ourselves as failures.

'I don't have as nice a car as my neighbour.

'I don't have as cool clothes as my classmates.

There are the proverbial rose-coloured glasses, well, most people wear black glasses that only filter through the negative. Your neighbour may have a nicer car, but why do you care? What would change in your life if he had a less attractive car? Let him live his life the way he wants to, after all, it's none of your business.

This leads us to an important realisation: every person is different, we are all unique. Our lives go in a completely different direction to those of any other person. So what is the point of comparing ourselves with someone else?

Have you realised that you you are unique, that there is no one else like you, then think about what makes you so unique, how you differ from others.

So let's turn away from the thoughts of all the things we not to the things or characteristics that we have have. Ironically, there are a lot of things that we have, that others envy us for. We just don't see them sometimes.

Now that you have realised how much positive have, and what makes you unique, how much you can offer yourself, we turn to the second aspect:

Focusing too much on others.

You have to live your own life, not someone else's. Go your own way by realising what you really want for yourself. We all have different Value systemsby which we measure our personal success, find out what yours Value system is. We often set ourselvesele that are not really our own. They are born out of society's ideas and norms. It is 'expected' that you find an opposite-sex partner, get married and bring one or two children into the world. But maybe you are homosexual or simply not interested in marriage and children. If you still don't have a spouse at 35, but all your friends do, you feel (quite wrongly) like a failure.

Or, to come back to your neighbour's car, he drives a fancy car that you would like to have yourself, but on your list of priorities it comes after regular holidays and the flat-screen TV.

It is important for you to first find out what your true desires in life are, and then to block out everything else.

Your life path may involve you becoming the best animal carer in the world and helping lots of animals in need. There's no point in being jealous of someone who is a famous actor, because that's not what you want. be Life's journey, not yours.

If you focus on your own life and, more precisely, on everything you have already achieved, your envy will turn into honest respect for your fellow human beings. You will learn to pass this respect on to them, to make them feel good, which will inevitably come back to you. You can draw inspiration for your life's journey from people you respect. In other words, transforming envy into respect enriches your own life.

Now you see things in the right light, not filtered through black glasses. You learn to see and appreciate what you have already achieved, not what you have not achieved.

When do you know that you have managed to control your envy of other people?

When you are genuinely happy for your fellow human beings when something good happens to them.

And many people would envy you for this ability.